would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
