I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
