Do you still have your period?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize