Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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