just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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