Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
