can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
