I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
