i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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