Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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