apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
