sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
