he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
