Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
