I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
