he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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