i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
