So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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