I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
