i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
