Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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