I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he fucked my hip out of place.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
