God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
