My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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