I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
