How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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