What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
