mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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