How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
