how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
