Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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