Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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