i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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