Soap is not a condiment
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
