i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
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I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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