I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Too much gin, very little bucket
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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