I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
