It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
