There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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