We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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