I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
