He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Oh god it's open bar.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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