i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
false alarm, still single
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