My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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