i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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