My cat gives me a boner
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
