My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
sex in a hospital.. check
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
