I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
