So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
