Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
