I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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