so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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