Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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