just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
