Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
