when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
