Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize