is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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