Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
