I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
