therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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