Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
