I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
