i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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